| I never.
Went to a party sober and hung around long enough for someone to get drunk enough for me to convince them to go home with me. | comments: 1 comment or Leave a comment  |
| I have seen her assume the shapes of my dreams, exceeding my imagination; seen her disappear when the past comes close; seen desire arise from her, and fear. Seen her glistening neck rise from the depths. I have heard her speak the language of fire, flowers and sleepless nights, nights when the sky explodes into fire and flowers, when sleep flowers into the language of burning, one of the languages I learned from her. | comments: Leave a comment  |
| Joel is safely drinking beer in North Carolina with the best friends a guy could have.
I am counting down the days - but relieved enough to not be too worked up over it.
My neighbor gave Dan and me a cooler filled with beer! Now I can celebrate my happiness. | comments: Leave a comment  |
|
A. You may not be surprised to learn that the medical community has yet to publish volumes on the topic. But the prevailing theory is that the hair down there traps desirable scents and pheromones, the signal-sending chemicals believed to play a role in arousing potential partners. A study exploring why humans have become less hairy over the course of evolution suggests the hair that does remain on a man’s face and head is proof of its importance in sexual attraction. By extension, the same could be said of pubic hair. A woman’s pubic hair may also be useful as a kind of trap filter that prevents light debris from entering the urethra or vagina, much like eyelashes help protect the eyes. | comments: 3 comments or Leave a comment  |
| On Saturday I listed a bunch of books on Amazon and I've already sold two!
Yay for cleaning out my house AND making money. | comments: 1 comment or Leave a comment  |
| Joel will be on safe ground on Thursday.
THURSDAY.
I cried a little when I read that.
I have never felt so relieved, ever. | comments: 2 comments or Leave a comment  |
| If anyone has a shitload of frequent flyer miles, please give them to me.
Thanks. | comments: Leave a comment  |
| | Things are likely to be coming to a dramatic climax for you when it comes to matters of love and romance, Aimee. Perhaps there is a relationship you have been nurturing for quite a while. You have put a great deal of passion and soul into building a strong connection with one other person. This is a time of reckoning in which you feel like you are taking a step back, and realizing what you have gained from all of that. Do you have a partner for life, or do you have someone who doesn't quite appreciate you as much as you feel like they should? | comments: 2 comments or Leave a comment  |
| I want to buy a tshirt.
Should I buy the one with mixtapes on it?
OR
Should I buy the one with grenades on it?
hurry up and tell me. | comments: 4 comments or Leave a comment  |
| I just spent two hours adding things to online wishlists while watching CNN.
I should probably go buy a lottery ticket now. | comments: 1 comment or Leave a comment  |
| Restless leg syndrome is a myth.
Those lazy bitches just need to get some exercise.
(but sorry if it's not and you really do have restless leg syndrome.) | comments: 5 comments or Leave a comment  |
| I think the Bermuda triangle is fake.
There's some island with a shitload of cool people who just didn't wanna hang out anymore.
Dan and I are gonna find it but we're gonna tie ropes around our waists so we can pull ourselves back if we need to. | comments: Leave a comment  |
| Internet scam artists are idiots.
This is an email I received from Paypal.
I mean:
>
"paypal"
"This is your official notification from PayPal. Your online has expired. If you want to continue using our service you have to renew your online. If not, your online will be limited and deleted." | comments: 2 comments or Leave a comment  |
| Joel gets to fly out of Iraq in like nine days. That's even earlier than the earlier time he was given.
omg I'm so happy. | comments: Leave a comment  |
| I see your husband like thirty times a day. For some reason I find it really humorous. Maybe because I'm either leaving work or slacking off and taking my time going back to work when I see him. | comments: 5 comments or Leave a comment  |
| I'm stepping up my (pirated and burned) music game.
What album should I illegally download off of the internet? | comments: 5 comments or Leave a comment  |
| Setting: outside Tam O'Shanter Starring: Heather as "Driver" Molly as "Backseat Passenger" Aimee as "Front Seat Passenger" Scene: Girls are running across the street and large SUV almost runs them down. They jump quickly into the car to escape their pending doom. SUV full of people and pot smoke pulls up next to car. The following conversation ensues:
Guy in car: Hey ladies. Heather: Uh. Hey. Guy in car: What's up. Heather: Nothing. We're going to drink some beers. Do you always pull up next to women to talk to them? Guy in car: I'm from New York. Heather. Oookay. Why are you in Nebraska? Guy in car: I go to school at Wesleyan. Heather: For what? Guy in car: Engineering. What's up with your friend next to you? Heather: Engineering, huh? Wesleyan's pretty expensive. Guy in car: I have a scholarship. What's up with your friend? Heather: Oh, her? She only speaks French. Guy in car: Hé fille. Vous êtes joli. Nous devrions aller avons de l'amusement. Aimee: (whispers) Close your door, dude. He's really speaking French and I really don't. Guy in car: Why aren't you answering me? I thought you spoke French. Aimee: Heather - close your door. End scene.
Setting: Lincoln mall Starring Aimee as "Aimee" and Creepy dude as "Creepy dude"
Aimee and Creepy Dude can be seen walking in the mall next to each other - much like they might be friends. They are not. Creepy dude starts muttering come-ons to Aimee, which she ignores. It only goes downhill from there.
Creepy dude: What up with you, girl? Aimee continues looking straight ahead and does not pay attention. Creepy dude: What up with it then? Aimee continues looking straight ahead and does not pay attention. Creepy dude: Fine motherfucker, I didn't want to talk to you anyway. Aimee: I'm sorry, did you just call me a motherfucker? Creepy dude: Maybe I did, maybe I didn't. Aimee: WHAT? Creepy dude: So what if I did? Take it like you will. Aimee: WHAT? Creepy dude: Bitch, I already got a baby mama - I don't need another.
Creepy dude exits and Aimee is left to figure out exactly what just happened. | comments: 3 comments or Leave a comment  |
| oh my god.
pasha is the new russian sensation.
dance for me baby. | comments: Leave a comment  |
| Awesome how all the important sites I need to access are 'temporarily unavailable' yet myspace and lj work just fine.
It's as if someone wants me to waste my time writing silly blogs about it! | comments: Leave a comment  |
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